thegreatyeti (thegreatyeti) wrote,

  • Mood:

SCA reports are in

I am slowly crawling out from under my rock.  My life has been turned upside down  and I feel jumbled up and defeated.  This change is not of my choosing, but I can choose how to react to it.  I feel like hiding under a rock, going to sleep and never waking up again because in my dreams I am happy again and I feel loved, at least some times when I am not dreaming about unpleasing things happening to me that I have no control over.

It is getting better.  To that end, I managed to get my Regional Webminister and MIT reports out on time this Quarter.  I am choosing to stand on my own two feet even if I don't feel like it.  Self doubt and loneliness make me feel undesirable and worthless but I can let those feelings stop me.    If I am already in pain, walking through fire is not so scary.   The only way to know if there is something better on the other side, is to try.

Right now, all I can do is make the best of what I have.  Its not much, but it is a start. 
Tags: chaos, enlightenment, life, mit, sca, webminister
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